Sheremetova

Anonymous said: What has caused you to hate men so much?

claudiaboleyn:

Funny you should ask! I’ll let you in on my origin story if you like?

Well, once upon a time I was your average, man-loving, non-opinionated, quiet, submissive, totally sexually available young woman. I loved the dudes. I can’t tell you how much I worshipped those blokes. I couldn’t even open a jar back then. Ah, the memories. I shied from the colour blue. I refused to step into a room that contained power tools. Football frightened me into week long seclusions. Don’t get me started on the horror beer brought on. 

And then, one night, I left my window open. It was hot, y’know? I probably shouldn’t have done it. 

But in flew the Misandry Fairy. She was magnificent. As she fluttered into my room she left a trail of glittering misogynist tears that sparkled like diamonds. She wore blood red especially smeary lipstick, the type that scares guys and makes them afraid of kissing you, to ward them off. She had beautifully hairy legs, hairy arms, and wore high waisted shorts (which we all know is the 2014 trend men hate). It wasn’t 2014 at the time, you understand, but she’s a fairy so I assume she looked into the future to find inspiration for her particular misandric look. She was also a lesbian. Because we all know how those lesbians hate men, right? 

"Claudia," she said to me. "It’s time to face your destiny. Inside of you is a burning misandric rage unlike anything the world has ever seen. When you wake up tomorrow, I want you opening jars left right and centre. Open so many jars that the men get jealous. Open so many jars that you and everyone around you are in danger of drowning in the contents. Keep on opening them. No matter what. Never give up." 

I was so shocked that I did not answer. It was the middle of the night and I was unaccustomed to being visited by such wise and noble beings. 

Before she left, she turned around in the air, her fluttering rainbow wings shining in the moonlight, and whispered: “Also, you’re queer. The Coming Out fairy was busy so I took his shift. Have a nice day.” 

The next morning I awoke and began to carry out my purpose. From that day on, men have trembled to see me. Occasionally they whimper “don’t let her near any jars for the love of God”, but most of the time they merely scatter as I enter any vicinity I please. 

I owe her everything. Without her, I would not be the woman I am today. 

This story is 100% true. You can quote me on it and everything. Never let anyone tell you fairies don’t exist. They do. And they’re raging misandrists. 

xxx

amerikoismywaifu:

eternallybliss:


This is so perfect, for the time you look at this image, you don’t know if it’s a boy and girl, a girl and a girl, a boy and a boy, a black man and a white girl, a white man and an asian girl, you know nothing. Just the simplicity of the connection and the beauty of two human beings sharing love and that is all that should ever matter.

Actually, Due to the slight prognathism of the maxilla, the smaller more rounded cranial vault. The sharper and less defined lower mandible, and less protruding supraobital ridges, the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the left is female, and of African American decent. However the individual on the right shows a larger more oblong cranium, heaver more protruding supraobital ridges, a flatter maxilla with less prognathism. Also the lower mandible of this individual is heaver, more defined and square. From the presence of these features the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the right is male of Caucasian decent. Also due to the advanced (but not complete) obliteration of the cranial sutures, and the presence of a third molar in each individuals, it can also be said that both of these individuals are between the ages of 25 and 40. 

i just

amerikoismywaifu:

eternallybliss:

This is so perfect, for the time you look at this image, you don’t know if it’s a boy and girl, a girl and a girl, a boy and a boy, a black man and a white girl, a white man and an asian girl, you know nothing. Just the simplicity of the connection and the beauty of two human beings sharing love and that is all that should ever matter.

Actually, Due to the slight prognathism of the maxilla, the smaller more rounded cranial vault. The sharper and less defined lower mandible, and less protruding supraobital ridges, the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the left is female, and of African American decent. However the individual on the right shows a larger more oblong cranium, heaver more protruding supraobital ridges, a flatter maxilla with less prognathism. Also the lower mandible of this individual is heaver, more defined and square. From the presence of these features the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the right is male of Caucasian decent. Also due to the advanced (but not complete) obliteration of the cranial sutures, and the presence of a third molar in each individuals, it can also be said that both of these individuals are between the ages of 25 and 40. image

i just

(via thatcrazyguywiththecrazyeyes)

forever:

my new favorite holiday is valentines day bc of these being all over tumblr

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(via gnarly)

the-sarcastic-robot:

drugs-in-ur-coffee:

selfish-cunts:

dqdbpb:

angelina jolie’s daughter

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and gwen stefani’s son

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both so cute 

Parenting done right

ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?

I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life. 

(via thegirlwiththezippertattoo)

taco-marco:

staff:

starting today all blogs without the following image will be deleted within 24 hours

image

i’m not even afraid of deletion. i just want this image on my blog

(Source: dddderrnsuree, via zevranarinais)

disparateyouth:

bagged milk is unnatural. the bible says adam and eve not adam and bagged milk

(Source: doppelgender, via thegirlwiththezippertattoo)

wickedclothes:

Sailor Moon Keychain Collection

This eight piece collection is wonderful to collect or gift to another Sailor Moon lover. Currently on sale for just $16.00 with FREE SHIPPING at Amazon!

gottachasepigeons:

art buddies are sO IMPORTANT

(via lolbender)

real-gifs:

colormebadder:

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

Yes lord

The decision to follow listoflifehacks might end up killing me but I’ll die happy so

(via gnarly)